A-Z of Divorce (if you do not instruct an experienced family solicitor)

Trying to negotiate divorce proceedings, and the financial consequences, can be a complicated minefield without the help of an experienced family law solicitor. You can end up severely financially disadvantaged.

Trying to deal with it yourself can also result in significant acrimony, not only between husband and wife, but also involving the children of the family and extended family and friends. Most family lawyers adhere to a code of conduct whereby they deal with matters as amicably as possible in an attempt to avoid as much conflict as possible while doing their best for their client's.

It is always best to try and settle matters involving children and finances without the necessity of attending court. Court procedure is expensive and emotionally draining and can result in orders being made which neither party is happy with as you are placing your life entirely in the hands of a Judge to make decisions for you.

So, below is a nightmare A-Z of divorce if you do not obtain professional legal advice:

1. Adultery - The most expensive 5 minutes of your life.
2. Business - Something you spent your life building up for your ex to have.
3. Children - Off-spring you now pay to see.
4. Dog - A pet you used to feed and walk, but which now barks at you when you try to enter the home you used to live in despite the fact you still pay the pet insurance.
5. Entertainment - Used to involve foreign holidays but now consists of a packet of crisps and a pickled egg.
6. Friends - People who it turns out prefer your ex and no longer speak to you.
7. Garden - A place you used to tend but in which your ex now sits, drinking your gin.
8. Husband - Now more commonly referred to as 'that git'.
9. In-laws - People you used to get on with, but who now hate you.
10. Judge - Someone who plays flip the coin with your life.
11. Kitchen - A place where you used to cook your ex nice meals, but which now contains a dart board with a picture of your face on it.
12. Legal Aid - Something that is only now offered by lawyers who enjoy wearing shiny blue suits.
13. Maintenance - A monthly payment which keeps your ex in the style they were never used to when you were married.
14. Nullity - It never happened, therefore, no maintenance.
15. Order - Something inflicted on you by someone you don't know.
16. Party - Used to be a jolly occasion. Now it means you are in court proceedings.
17. Questionnaires - Contain questions which puts you in contempt of court if not answered.
18. Remarriage - Hope over expectation.
19. Squat - Somewhere you now live after 'T', below.
20. Transfer - You used to jointly own the family home... now you don't.
21. Undertaking - A legal promise made with your fingers crossed.
22. Vehicle - Something you used to own and drive and which your ex now drives while your children wave at you from the back seat.
23. Wife - Now more commonly known as 'the vulture'.
24. X-rated - This is what your ex's Facebook page is after they have posted comments about you... with photographic evidence.
25. Yacht - Something you will no longer ever be able to afford.
26. Zips - Items which used to hold your cloths up until your ex cut them all off.

So, to avoid the above when getting divorced, seek advice from our experienced family law solicitor. Contact us today for a free 30-minute meeting to find out how we can help.